Disclaimer: This guide is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Guardianship and custody laws vary by state. We recommend consulting a qualified legal professional for advice specific to your situation.
The 3 Things Every Single Parent Must Have
- A valid will naming a guardian — Without one, the court decides who raises your children
- Adequate life insurance — Enough to replace your income and support your children until adulthood
- Clear financial instructions — A testamentary trust or appointed trustee to manage money until your children are old enough
If you're a single parent without these three things, you're leaving your children's future to chance. This guide explains how to protect them properly.
Overview
As a single parent, you're the safety net. There's no backup. No other parent to step in if something happens.
That’s a heavy responsibility. But it also means your estate planning is absolutely critical.
If you die without a will:
- The court decides who raises your children — it might not be who you’d choose
- Your estate is distributed by law — not according to your wishes
- Your children’s inheritance might not be protected — it could be mismanaged or depleted
- The other parent might get everything — even if you’d prefer they didn’t
This guide explains exactly what single parents need to protect their children if the worst happens.
Choosing a guardian
The most important decision you’ll make in your will is who will raise your children if you die.
What is a guardian?
A guardian is the person (or couple) you name in your will to care for your minor children if you die.
They’ll be responsible for:
- Day-to-day care and upbringing
- Making decisions about education, health, and welfare
- Providing a stable home environment
- Managing the child’s routine and activities
What If You Don't Name a Guardian?
If you die without naming a guardian in your will, the court appoints someone based on what they think is in the child's best interests. This might be a relative you wouldn't have chosen, or even a state-appointed guardian if no suitable family member comes forward. The decision will take time, cause uncertainty, and might not reflect your wishes.
How to choose the right guardian
Consider these factors:
Age and health:
- Are they young enough to care for children long-term?
- Are they physically and mentally capable?
Values and parenting style:
- Do they share your values, beliefs, and approach to parenting?
- Would they provide the kind of upbringing you want for your children?
Stability:
- Do they have a stable home, relationship, and financial situation?
- Are they likely to remain in a suitable position long-term?
Relationship with your children:
- Do your children know them well and feel comfortable with them?
- Have they spent time together?
Willingness:
- Have you asked them if they’re willing to take on this responsibility?
- Do they understand what it involves?
Location:
- Would your children need to move schools, states, or away from their community?
- How disruptive would the transition be?
Always Name Backup Guardians
Your first choice might not be able to serve when the time comes. Name at least one (ideally two) backup guardians in case your primary choice is unable or unwilling to act.
What if you can’t agree on a guardian with the other parent?
If the other parent is still alive and involved, they will usually get custody regardless of your will (see next section).
But if the other parent is deceased, absent, or unsuitable, your will’s guardian appointment becomes critical.
The other parent’s rights
Australian Family Law
Under Australian family law, if one parent dies, the surviving parent with parental responsibility automatically has the right to custody of the children, even if you didn't want this. Your will cannot override this — family law takes precedence over estate planning law.
When the other parent is alive
Scenario 1: You share custody with the other parent
If you die, the other parent gets full custody. Your will’s guardian nomination only takes effect if the other parent also dies or loses parental responsibility.
Scenario 2: You have sole custody, but the other parent is still alive
The other parent can apply for custody. The court will generally grant it unless they can be shown to be unfit. Your will’s guardian nomination is only a preference — the court decides based on the child’s best interests.
Scenario 3: The other parent is absent or uninvolved
If the other parent hasn’t been involved in the child’s life, they can still apply for custody when you die. Your will’s guardian nomination carries weight, but the court still makes the final decision.
When the other parent is deceased or absent
If the other parent is:
- Deceased — Your will’s guardian nomination takes effect
- Unknown — Your will’s guardian nomination takes effect
- Has permanently relinquished parental responsibility — Your will’s guardian nomination takes effect
What if the other parent is unsuitable?
If you believe the other parent is unsuitable to have custody (due to abuse, neglect, addiction, mental health issues, or incarceration), you should:
- Include a statement in your will explaining your concerns
- Document evidence of the other parent’s unsuitability
- Discuss with your proposed guardian so they’re prepared to contest custody if needed
- Seek legal advice about obtaining sole parental responsibility while you’re alive
Your Will Cannot Disinherit the Other Parent on Behalf of Your Children
If the other parent gets custody of your children, they will control any inheritance you leave to the children until the children reach adulthood. A testamentary trust can provide some protection, but if the other parent has custody, the trustee must still act in the children's best interests — which may include providing funds for their care.
Testamentary trusts for children
A testamentary trust is a trust created in your will that holds your children’s inheritance until they reach a certain age.
Why single parents need testamentary trusts
Without a trust:
- Children inherit directly at age 18
- The executor hands over the full amount when they turn 18
- An 18-year-old gets complete control of potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars
- No protection from poor decisions, manipulation, or financial inexperience
With a testamentary trust:
- Money is held in trust and managed by a trustee you appoint
- Funds are released gradually (e.g., 25% at 21, 25% at 25, 50% at 30)
- Trustee can provide funds for education, health, housing, and living expenses before final distribution
- Protection from creditors, relationship breakdowns, and poor financial decisions
- Tax advantages (trust income can be distributed tax-effectively)
How it works
You appoint a trustee: Someone you trust to manage the money responsibly. Can be the guardian, a family member, a professional trustee, or a combination.
You set the distribution age(s): Common approaches:
- Lump sum at 25
- 50% at 25, 50% at 30
- 33% at 25, 33% at 30, 34% at 35
- Discretionary until 30, then full distribution
Trustee manages the funds:
- Invests the money
- Pays for children’s needs (education, health, living expenses)
- Distributes according to your instructions
Example: Sarah’s trust
Sarah is a single mother with two children aged 8 and 11. Her will creates a testamentary trust with her brother as trustee. The trust provides:
- Full support for education (school fees, uniforms, tutoring)
- Health and medical expenses
- Reasonable living expenses while in the guardian’s care
- 25% distribution at age 25
- 75% distribution at age 30
When Sarah dies, her children are cared for by her sister (guardian), while her brother (trustee) manages their inheritance. The children receive support throughout their education and early adulthood, but don’t get full control until they’re mature enough to manage it responsibly.
Life insurance: How much is enough?
As a single parent, life insurance is your children’s financial safety net.
How much do you need?
A common formula: 10-15 times your annual income
But a better approach is to calculate actual needs:
1. Replace your income until children are independent
- Annual income × years until youngest child turns 18
- Example: $70,000 × 12 years = $840,000
2. Add major expenses
- Outstanding mortgage: $400,000
- Education costs (private school, university): $200,000
- Emergency fund: $50,000
- Total: $1,490,000
3. Subtract existing assets
- Superannuation death benefit: $150,000
- Existing savings: $30,000
- Total assets: $180,000
Life insurance needed: $1,310,000
Life Insurance Inside Super
Many Australians have life insurance through their superannuation fund. Check your super statement to see how much coverage you have. It's often not enough for single parents with dependent children. You can increase your super insurance or take out additional cover outside super.
Where should the insurance payout go?
Option 1: Directly to your estate (via your will)
- Goes through probate
- Distributed according to your will
- Can be placed in testamentary trust
- Estate creditors can access it
Option 2: Binding nomination to a specific beneficiary
- Goes directly to the nominated person (often the guardian)
- Bypasses probate (faster)
- Not protected by testamentary trust
- No control over how it’s used
Best practice for single parents: Use a combination:
- Nominate your estate as beneficiary (so funds go into testamentary trust)
- OR nominate the guardian with clear written instructions that funds are for the children’s benefit
Who manages the money until kids are adults?
You need to decide who will manage your children’s inheritance until they’re old enough to manage it themselves.
Your options
Option 1: The guardian
- Advantage: Same person caring for the children handles the money — simpler
- Disadvantage: Combines two demanding roles; potential for conflict of interest
Option 2: A separate trustee
- Advantage: Checks and balances; financial expertise can be separate from parenting
- Disadvantage: Guardian must request funds from trustee; potential for disagreement
Option 3: Co-trustees
- Advantage: Shared responsibility; both must agree on major decisions
- Disadvantage: Can be slow if co-trustees disagree
Option 4: Professional trustee
- Advantage: Expertise, impartiality, continuity
- Disadvantage: Fees (typically 1-2% of assets annually); less personal
What powers should the trustee have?
Your will should clearly state:
- Can pay for education, health, and living expenses
- Can provide housing assistance
- Can make discretionary distributions for emergencies
- Must keep records and provide accounts to beneficiaries
- Distribution schedule and ages
Letter of wishes for guardians
A letter of wishes (also called a letter of intent) is a non-binding document that provides guidance to your guardian and trustee.
What to include
About your children:
- Their personalities, interests, strengths, challenges
- Health issues, medications, allergies
- School and educational preferences
- Friendships and social connections
- Routines and preferences
Your wishes for their upbringing:
- Religious or cultural practices
- Educational priorities
- Values you want instilled
- Activities and experiences you’d like them to have
Practical information:
- Medical history and doctors
- School contacts
- Extended family relationships
- Important possessions or sentimental items
Financial guidance:
- What you’d want money spent on
- Priorities for education vs other expenses
- Your views on spoiling vs frugality
Letters of Wishes Are Not Legally Binding
A letter of wishes provides guidance, but it doesn't legally bind the guardian or trustee. They must still act in the child's best interests. However, a well-written letter can be invaluable in helping them understand your values and intentions.
Backup plans and contingencies
Life is unpredictable. Your estate plan needs backup plans.
What if your guardian can’t serve?
Name backup guardians (at least two)
What if your trustee can’t serve?
Name backup trustees or appoint a professional trustee
What if you and your children die together?
Include a disaster clause in your will:
- If all your children predecease you or die in a common accident, who gets your estate?
- Usually: extended family, charities, or other beneficiaries
What if your children inherit but die before final distribution?
Your will should specify:
- Does their share go to their siblings?
- Does it go to their own children (your grandchildren)?
- Does it go to the other parent?
Talking to your children about your plans
Should you tell your children about your estate plan?
It depends on their age and maturity.
Young children (under 10)
You don’t need to discuss wills, death, or guardianship in detail. But you can:
- Reassure them they’ll always be cared for
- Introduce them to the people who’d care for them if something happened to you
- Build relationships with potential guardians through regular contact
Older children (10-18)
Consider age-appropriate conversations:
- Explain you’ve made plans to ensure they’re cared for
- Introduce the concept of a guardian and trustee
- Let them know who you’ve chosen (if appropriate)
- Listen to their feelings and concerns
- Reassure them without creating anxiety
What to say:
“I’ve made some plans to make sure you’re always taken care of, no matter what. If something ever happened to me, Auntie Jane would look after you, and Uncle Tom would help manage money for your education and future. I wanted you to know so you never have to worry.”
Related resources
Dictionary Terms:
- Guardian
- Testamentary Trust
- Trustee
- Binding Death Benefit Nomination
- Letter of Wishes
Guides:
Planning Tools:
Key takeaways
Estate Planning for Single Parents
- Name a guardian in your will — without one, the court decides who raises your children
- The other parent usually gets custody regardless of your will, unless they're deceased, absent, or unfit
- Use a testamentary trust to protect your children's inheritance until they're mature enough to manage it
- Calculate life insurance needs based on income replacement + major expenses, not just a multiple of income
- Separate financial management (trustee) from caregiving (guardian) if appropriate for your situation
- Always name backup guardians and trustees in case your first choice can't serve
- Write a letter of wishes to provide guidance about your children's upbringing and your values
- Review your plan every 2-3 years or when circumstances change
Final thought
Being a single parent means you’re the safety net. And that’s exhausting. But it also means you have absolute clarity about what your children need.
You don’t need to coordinate with another parent. You don’t need to compromise. You know your children better than anyone, and you know who should care for them if you can’t.
Estate planning as a single parent isn’t about preparing for the worst. It’s about ensuring that the people you love are protected by the person who loves them most: you.
Make a will. Name a guardian. Get life insurance. Set up a testamentary trust.
It might be the most important afternoon you ever spend.
What's Next?
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